Blah.

Why do I feel so sad sometimes? I have no reason to feel sad but all my thoughts have this negative spin and I feel like a plane plummeting to the ground a million miles an hour. I have all these dreams that I want to pursue but just don't quite have the power to really go after them. It's like I look out the window and see everything I want and all I have to go is get up and go get it...... but I just don't ever make it. I want it all so badly too. I don't know what's wrong with me.

Tonight as I'm sitting here typing the air is blowing in the window and the night is perfect. It is such a beautiful summer evening. My kids are sleeping, my husband is sleeping, the dog is snoring at my feet.... there is nothing to cause me to feel so sad. I don't even feel like reading or gardening. I just feel blah.

This is so unlike me. I usually can never sit still but now all I want to do is sit around and do nothing. Just gather dust. I think I'll go to my doctor and have her do a checkup. I think something is amiss.

Sunday so soon

I feel like I've slept all weekend. Actually I have. I went to the doctor about the pain in my back on Friday. She wrote me some scripts to help what she believes is muscle pain. I decided to wait on taking them as I had a date to the ball that night. Actually, it wasn't a ball but a little chamber music and my "date" was really my oldest son (who had no choice in the matter). We heard the Perlman / Schmidt / Bailey Trio play beautifully. Actually Perlman (the pianist)was absent. I don't think she could brave the cold. Instead we heard Simone Dinnerstein and the others play Haydn, Brahms, and Schubert. Dinnerstein was wonderful. My son loved the concert but said it was much too long to sit in those uncomfortable chairs. I agreed.








I was really impressed with the violinist (Giora Schmidt) who didn't show himself at the end, unless I missed him. We were only graced with the presence of Zuill Bailey and his long hair. I do admit he was great at the cello (which is normally my favorite sound) but I've never heard anyone play the violin like Schmidt. J said violinist aren't supposed to play sitting down. I said it looked like violinist could play anyway they chose. Several times as they amazed us I jabbed my son's shoulder to say "You could do that" but he didn't seem so sure. They were selling CD's afterward but I was not very happy with the selection. It was all Bailey. I still ended up with two and Mr. Zuill signed them both.

My son enjoyed the concert put on by the Fairbanks Concert Association and said we should buy season tickets next year. Maybe we will.

After we got home I took the medication and I don't remember a thing that happened afterwards. I'm only just now waking up and in a blink it will be Monday again. Such a shame.

my time flies..... when you're busy!!

I can't believe how fast this week has gone! So much seems to have happened in such a short time. I feel like I've been riding an emotional rollercoaster! First we were really worried about my boss who was in for surgery to remove some brain tumors. We were really worried about him since he also had pneumonia. Today they finally said he was awake and doing some stuff and that was so great to hear. Another lady at work has a 6 year old little girl with extremely high blood pressure so she's been running from Dr to Dr over that. I sure hope they figure out what is wrong with that little girl and can help her.

At work they just announced that they hired someone to replace one of our senior people after he retires in a couple of years..... and I just so happen to know the person they hired. odd. It sure is a small world!

I went to the eye doctor Tuesday. I had been having a hard time reading the menu boards at fast food restuarants lately and my eyes have been bothering me at work. Turns out I have to get bifocals now :O( I feel like such a granny. Of course they said there will not be lines and the glasses I picked out are nice. It was so hard to choose but I ended up with these glasses that have matching magnetic snap on sunglasses. The front of the frames are very thin red wire with rimless bottoms and the arms are bright gold. I love them. Hopefully I will still love them when they get here!