Jack Johnson

One night when I was stumbling through the digital music cannels on TV I heard a song by Jack Johnson. It was Breakdown. I finally tracked Jack down on itunes and downloaded that song and several others. I could listen to this forever.... It's the type of music that makes you forget about everything in the world and just relax.

A Letter

I found an old letter my Nanny sent to me with some older than average valentines for the boys. I think this is the last letter she wrote to me. She is now unable to write me or to hold the phone to talk and I miss her. I wish she didn't have to hurt to be with us.

The Chair in which you've sat
The chair in which you've sat's not just a chair nor the table at which you've eaten just a table nor the window that you've looked from just a window.
All these have now a patina of your body and mind, a kind of ghostly glow which haloes them a little, though invisible.
~Iain Crichton smith

The season just before spring...

I swear there is one and I just love it. It's still winter but it's sunny and beautiful. The air smells crisp and clean and the birds are out. I love to go on walks and enjoy the sunset since it goes down just about the time I'm coming home from work. I can see a bit of sunrise on my way to work too. On my lunch I go for walks with Blue dog and she tries to make me get some exercise. I really just want to walk at a more leisurely pace but you know dogs.... especially beagles on the scent of a squirrel!

Well, I just realized that I might actually have a life! I have several things planned for the next week or so. I actually had to plan out a schedule to keep track of everything. wow. Pretty soon it will be interesting when classes start. I would like to take a beginning sewing class also if I can fit that in. I have a sewing machine now....and I have material........ but that doesn't make me a seamstress! So far I have only sewn a washcloth together. Hmmmmmm maybe I could sell that on ebay....

Lonely alone time

I went shopping with a friend of mine this evening and it was so great to get out. Today was President's day and I had the day off. That is wonderful and everything but I'm not used to being completely alone in the house. Usually the boys are home with me. It was eerie quiet and I didn't much like it. I couldn't get much done because I was wondering how the boys were doing or how my husband's day was going. I was thinking about work and thinking about my Grandmother who isn't doing well. I think it was almost torture to have that day off because I couldn't really do anything about those things that were on my mind and I couldn't focus on all the things around me that I should be doing. I ended up going to get the boys to go to lunch with me. We had fun at McDonalds and then I dropped them back off at school. After school I went back to pick them up and they were having a book fair. We had a great time picking out books. We also donated a few to the each of the boys classrooms.

My parents called me on Sunday. It was good to talk to them but they always say something about my nanny which leaves me sad for a long while after. I always ask for more specific details of her condition and they always give me one of those vague, you-know-she's-old type of answers... then they told me she said she wanted to see me one more time before she died. That just kills me because I just don't have the money to buy a plane ticket to Georgia. Then of course I feel like I couldn't go without taking the boys to see Grandma and everyone else and heck, why not bring Chris too. Hmmmm, maybe I could sell some organs or something to pay for that.

Okay, time to pull out of that downward spiral.... I had a great time shopping with my friend even though I would have liked some more time. I did find some neat journals on sale. They are suede with contrasting stitching and a little photo pocket on the front. I just fell in love with them and bought one in each of 4 colors: a sage green, red, champagne, and black. After I got home and unloaded my booty I was surprised when my oldest son asked for one of them- the black one. I asked what he planned to do with it (since he doesn't like to write anything -especially homework). He told me some stuff and I finally gave him one but I wouldn't be surprised if I don't find it later untouched, in a pile under his bed. Funny thing is that my youngest son started asking me more about "journaling". I told him what I do with mine and a few things others might do differently. He then asked if he could have my red one. UGH. I had to let him have it. I guess I will be making another trip to Joann's soon. Surprisingly though, I tripped on his little butt trying to get to the bathroom and he was laying on the floor writing away in his journal. A little later he asked me if I'd like to read it and I did. He wrote about last President's Day when I kept them home from school mistakingly thinking it was a day they had off too. He said we did a lot of fun things like playing around on the computer together and drinking hot cocoa. I wonder if he will write about the things we did today next year.

I say ... and you think ... ?

Oh, I've been in bed too long. I'm playing these silly web games again... Click the title to check out the link. Anyway, if you need further information to understand you just write the first word or phrase that comes to mind for each line. "Over time, this technique is supposed to help bring forth repressed thoughts and feelings that the person can then work through to gain a better sense of self."

1. Taking sides:: middle ground
   
2. Couples:: salt and pepper/ apples and oranges
3. Right of refusal:: property
   
4. Marla:: crazy friend
   
5. Multiple:: talents
   
6. Trinity:: Holy
   
7. Sneeze:: Bless you
   
8. Sweatpants:: comforts of home
   
9. Steve:: phone
   
10. Fabulous:: Bonnie
    

Sunday so soon

I feel like I've slept all weekend. Actually I have. I went to the doctor about the pain in my back on Friday. She wrote me some scripts to help what she believes is muscle pain. I decided to wait on taking them as I had a date to the ball that night. Actually, it wasn't a ball but a little chamber music and my "date" was really my oldest son (who had no choice in the matter). We heard the Perlman / Schmidt / Bailey Trio play beautifully. Actually Perlman (the pianist)was absent. I don't think she could brave the cold. Instead we heard Simone Dinnerstein and the others play Haydn, Brahms, and Schubert. Dinnerstein was wonderful. My son loved the concert but said it was much too long to sit in those uncomfortable chairs. I agreed.








I was really impressed with the violinist (Giora Schmidt) who didn't show himself at the end, unless I missed him. We were only graced with the presence of Zuill Bailey and his long hair. I do admit he was great at the cello (which is normally my favorite sound) but I've never heard anyone play the violin like Schmidt. J said violinist aren't supposed to play sitting down. I said it looked like violinist could play anyway they chose. Several times as they amazed us I jabbed my son's shoulder to say "You could do that" but he didn't seem so sure. They were selling CD's afterward but I was not very happy with the selection. It was all Bailey. I still ended up with two and Mr. Zuill signed them both.

My son enjoyed the concert put on by the Fairbanks Concert Association and said we should buy season tickets next year. Maybe we will.

After we got home I took the medication and I don't remember a thing that happened afterwards. I'm only just now waking up and in a blink it will be Monday again. Such a shame.

Education

I'm finally getting one. Hopefully. I'll at least go for it. I was just thinking about taking a couple of classes that I hoped we could afford. I asked the questions at work about what could be paid by them and then told my husband. My husband already has it worked into an excel spreadsheet. He wants me to try for a 2 year degree in finance in 1 1/2 years time using summers. He thinks I can do it. I hope to not let him down. Looks like one of the classes I have already taken. That makes me more hopeful.

I want to get started right away but can't help but wonder where the money will come from. I had planned to learn to play guitar this summer, complete many projects and to read several books. I guess I better get cracking on those before summer hits.