Thinking

Have you ever found yourself deep in thought while standing in the shower and you couldn't remember whether you just rinced shampoo or conditioner out of your hair so you had to start all over? I have been doing that a lot lately. I think I really washed my hair about 5 times but at least it's clean right?

I've got a lot on my mind lately. I'm not at the bank anymore and I'm trying to decide what I was supposed to be when I grew up. I never had an answer when I was asked that as as kid and now that I am an adult I only know what I am not meant to do. It's been a hard process of trial and error. If you asked me a year ago I would have said that I planned to work at the bank for a lot longer but something happened when I started taking classes. I realized how much more there is out there to do and when I looked around at the bank I started to realize that I didn't belong there and "up" was not where I wanted to move. I lost my ambition.....at least there. I needed to get out but it wasn't so clear to me then as it is now. I fought it very hard. I applied for several positions since November and many of those positions where very similar to what I did at the bank. I am glad someone with more experience was available to prevent me from making such a huge mistake. I wasn't meant to sit behind a computer all day. I've always wanted to help people and so far I've not been close enough to anyone to help them. So I'm on a mission! I'm going to volunteer at several places and see where I would be the most help. After I find out what it is that I am best at and get some experience in that then I'll know what I was meant to be and can then apply with confidence. Until then, I'm Momma Donna again, and my family loves having me home more often, rested and happy.

Since I've been gone though I've really missed the other people that work at the bank, well most of them. I have never worked in a place before that felt so much like family. There are a lot of great people there or at least there have been. Many of the people I really admired moved on before me. At least I know that I gained a lot while working there. I've learned a lot and gained so many good friends. I certainly received a lot more hugs in the month of February than I did in a long, long time and it felt good :O)

It's not easy for me to be at home though. I feel like I'm not doing enough to help my family. Not helping my husband to support the family financially is the hardest of all. I'm trying to be a good "housewife" (yuck, I hate that word), but I have to make frequent escape trips or I know I will go insane. I have to keep myself busy. My husband has tried to help me out by bring up his Mom. She's a great lady and I can't wait until she gets here.

So, busy, busy. This week I am simplifying. I have been reading Living the Simple Life: A Guide to Scaling Down and Enjoying More and Simplify Your Life: 100 Ways to Slow Down and Enjoy the Things That Really Matter and I think it's time to get all of the extra garbage out of my home.

Hopefully I'll be done before my mother in law gets here in the wee hours of Wednesday night. I have called FRA so they will be expecting a large load!

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The song currently stuck in my head: Joy to the World (????)